As I haven’t got round to putting my thoughts about Calvary onto paper yet, here’s a silly sketch that I wrote after being inspired by a friend’s status on Facebook. Sometimes the slightest thing can give you the inspiration for something and I find it’s best to roll with it. This is probably why it takes me so long to complete manuscripts! Anyway, here’s The Scar.
A completely normal coffee shop and I stress the word ‘completely’. Two friends, KIRSTY and NICK, are having coffee together. They sit at a two seater table, facing one another.
NICK …and that’s how I cured the common cold. So, what’s new with you?
KIRSTY Oh, you know. Same old, same old.
NICK Because you’re so old.
KIRSTY I am old and venerable, I’ll have you know.
NICK So long as you’re not venereal, it’s okay.
KIRSTY That joke doesn’t really work, does it?
NICK No. Not in the slightest. But, seriously, come on. There must be something new with you?
KIRSTY Um…well, I’ve been really getting into the yoga, so there’s that. Still working on the play, of course.
NICK How’s that going?
KIRSTY Yeah, really well. Good rehearsals so far. Think it’s going to be a good one.
NICK It better be. I’ve already bought my ticket.
KIRSTY When are you coming?
NICK Halfway through the-
KIRSTY To see the play.
NICK On the Saturday.
KIRSTY I’ll make sure that Saturday’s 20% better, just for you.
NICK So kind.
KIRSTY I know.
NICK But that’s not really new, is it?
KIRSTY Well, yesterday I found a scar on my foot that I didn’t know was there.
NICK A new scar? Interesting…
Nick squirms down into his chair and speaks at the lapel of his coat in a very monotone, secret agent sort of a way.
NICK She knows.
KIRSTY What did you just do?
NICK Nothing. So, tell me more about this scar…
KIRSTY No, what did you just say into your coat?
NICK That. Nothing to worry about. Just a little…thing.
KIRSTY A thing.
KIRSTY A thing relating to this new scar?
NICK Of course not.
KIRSTY Right, I’m going.
NICK I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
NICK I just wouldn’t do that if I were you.
KIRSTY Well, watch me.
Kirsty heads towards the door. Suddenly it bursts open, killing the lights in the café. Smoke drifts in through the open door and a bright light makes Kirsty shield her eyes. A figure walks through it, clearly wearing a biohazard suit with a gas mask.
NICK I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
KIRSTY No. No! Noooooo!
The figure takes off the gas mask. Lights back to normal.
KIRSTY Oh, hi, Ed. You alright?
ED Not bad. You?
KIRSTY Yeah, fine. Listen, I have to run. See you soon?
ED (ominous) Yes. Soon.
Exit Kirsty, confused.